a love letter to elisa: you’re FOUR years old

Dear Elisa,

Writing to you is always the hardest; I’ll always end up an emotional mess. Looking back at the past years; the happy, the sad, the hair pulling, the heart-warming moments makes my heart ache and stomach twist. Our lives have been taken over by the mundane daily tasks that we might have neglected you. I was watching you play the other day and it struck me how little time we spent together ever since I started work. I wished I had spent more time with you and cuddle you a little bit more. You have grown so so much.

The past one year has been a year of change. You were promoted to a big sister and what can I say? You are an AMAZING sister! You dote on your didi so much; he is the first person you asked for when you wake up. It used to be me but not anymore! You always asked to carry or hug didi but sometimes you can get a tad enthusiastic, you end up squeezing him.

I’m not going to lie but you were quite a handful when baby arrived, you were very needy and extremely whiny. This is totally expected as your status as the only child has been revoked. We did what we could to make you feel not left out; papa brought you to Universal Studios, I did school run whenever possible and we tried to spend as much time with you as possible. It took us all a while to get used to this new addition to the family but you surprised us by how fast you adapted. I’ve heard stories about some kids taking almost one year to finally accept their younger brother/sister.

Right now princesses are your life. Every day without fail, you will drape yourself with baby’s swaddle and pretend to be a princess. Well, Queen Elsa to be exact. For your birthday, Ah Fu got you a Frozen dress amongst many other presents. You were over the moon! You asked to put it on immediately and there you were, twirling from one end to the other with the widest smile on your face.

Also, Uncle Peter bought you a collection of Disney princesses’ story books. Those books are the most well-read books. Every single night, you will pull one book from the shelf and ask us to read to you much to our chagrin…“Princess again?”. Just the other day, I was reading Beauty and The Beast to you and you amazed me by finishing off each sentences with the exact words as in the book. I read to you so many times you actually memorised it!

You have a competitive streak in you. You want to be first in whatever you do. And if you don’t get to be first, you will throw a tantrum and be sad about it. Elisa, mummy wants you to know that it is okay to lose once in a while. In life, there will be winners and there will be losers. It’s good to be competitive but if you do not succeed in whatever you are doing, do not be disheartened. Keep your head up and just keep on trying!

My dear, you have a wonderful sense of humour. Just like your papa, you always make funny jokes and make me laugh. Nowadays, you are talking like an adult with hand gestures and all. Even your teachers commented how mature you are when you speak. Sometimes, you surprised us by your witty comebacks that left mummy and papa totally speechless! Haha.

You are such a blessing and a joy, my silly girl!

I wonder what will four brings us? I hope it will be nothing short of magical.

We love you more than anything!

 

❤️
mummy

letter to our firstborn

Dear Elisa,

Our first born. You taught us how to be parents. In a short time, it could be tomorrow or next week, you will no longer be our only child. You have been our center of attention for almost four years and soon you will have to share the limelight with another human being.

I know. It sucks, right? 

I know you felt insecure you will no longer be our only child. Although you did not express it verbally, you showed it through your emotions. You became very sticky to me and according to Teacher Liz, you will cry for me out of a sudden for no apparent reason. According to her, this is a sign of insecurity!

I totally understand how you feel. But mummy wants you to know that no matter what happened, no matter who comes along, you will always be mummy’s no 1, my love for you will never change. We have a special bond, it was you who taught me to be a mother, it was you who taught me about selflessness and no one can replace the bond.

Elisa, when the baby arrives, you might feel that your needs have been neglected. You might feel that mummy spend more time with baby than you. But this does not mean that your needs are any less important or i love you any lesser. This is because mummy knows that you are an independent girl who is capable of taking care of yourself and I won’t be surprise if you start taking care of mummy and baby!

What lies ahead is scary and unknown to us. But we truly believe that a sibling is the best gift we could ever give you. A life buddy. Someone to lean on, someone to laugh with and someone to share the punishments with. He will be your partner in crime to make your parents’ life batshit crazy!

You have been a sweetheart towards mummy and baby for the past 9 months. You will talk to the baby (via my belly button :D) and constantly check of my well-being. One night, I was trying to bend over to pick up your pyjamas and you stopped me from doing so. “Mummy, I’ll do it. You have a big tummy, you can’t bend over right?”. This is one of the many occasions that makes me question myself what have I done to deserve you?

I am very certain you have what it takes to be an incredible big sister as evident from the way you take care of Bradley in school. I know you will take on this big sister role like a champ and you will dote on your baby brother and make us all proud like how you always do!

Elisa, you might accept baby in an instance or you might take a while. I wont rush you into it, I’ll give you space and time to slowly adapt to the change in environment.

 As I’m writing this I’m already in week 38, meaning that baby will be here anytime. I apologise beforehand if my actions or words will make you feel neglected or if I spend too much time on baby. But bear in mind that is never my intentions. Sometimes when you are too engrossed in a task i.e. keeping your sibling alive, you tend to forget about the people around you.

We don’t have much time together before we welcome a new human being into our lives. In the meantime, I’m going to soak in every bit of you and ask for as many cuddles and kisses as possible.

love you always,
mummy

 

 

 

a love letter to elisa: you’re THREE years old

Dear Elisa,

It’s common to hear parents say “enjoy every moment, it passes so quickly”. You know what? It is so true! You never realise how fast time passes until you experience it. I was cradling you the other day (mummy, carry me like a baby), I know it sounds cliché, but it really felt like it was just yesterday that I first held you in my arms. The difference is, you were 3.96 kg then. And now you are a whooping 16 kg!!!

Whenever I look at you, my heart both soars and aches at the same time to realise you are no longer the tiny baby that we brought home exactly three years ago but a smart and happy little big girl who sings Taylor Swift’s songs at the top of her lungs! You have grown leaps and bounds since you turned two. “Did she just say that?”, “Did you see that?”…these are the things papa and I say over and over again.

You surprised us with how fast you can relate things together. Every night after dinner, we will hang out in the study room. Papa will play guitar and you will get a few minutes of screen time on the iPad. One night, you kept hurrying papa to go into the room and we were wondering why. Then we realised, guitar = iPad!! Oh, you smart little thing!!!

You are very good at manipulating us or either that, we are pushovers! I’m not sure where you learnt all these – hand clasped, puppy eyes, mummy please (?) from, but they are a sure win strategy to get me to say YES. You always WIN!

Your grandparents were not sparred too. There was once you went out with popo and ah gong, and you came home with a bicycle, just because you said you wanted one.

Or that time when you walked past TWG and you told popo “papa, never bring me here you know?”. The next moment, you were having afternoon tea at TWG! FYI, papa also never bring me there, you know?!!!

Or that time you went into a shop with mama and you came out with not one but THREE soft toys! Where are the toys now? In a box with all your other soft toys!!

Or how mama always give you (A LOT OF) chocolates because you like chocolates.

You know, you have all your grandparents wrapped around your little pinky and they couldn’t be happier! You are their cure to all pains, you are their source of joy! You are one lucky girl!

My dear, you aren’t a big sister yet, but I am confident when the time comes (with God’s grace), you will take on the role like a champ. You care for your baby/rabbit with so much love that I know you will be an amazing sister!!

Elisa, I know you will get more and more independent from now on. Please know that papa and I are always here to hold your hands every step of the way. We will hold on to them tight cause we are not ready to let go yet.

Keep learning, keep laughing and keep being awesome!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, bigu!!

love,
mummy

 

 

 

letter to elisa: (officially) first day of school

Dear Elisa,

Following your first day of school last week, we decided to pull you out from school for the rest of the week because you weren’t feeling well.

So, here we are, starting school again. Yesterday, was officially your first day of school, three hours of class. This is the real deal.

Just like last week, mummy followed you on the school bus. As compared to last week, there were more kids in the bus. They were really noisy but I know they are good kids. I told them to watch out for you because you are a baby in the bus and they happily agreed.

When we arrived in school, we proceeded to do the health check. This time round, you were totally fine with Aunty Linda (the admin staff) conducting the checks. You showed her your hands and mouth willingly and happily went to the holding area. You were doing great on your own and I even managed to have a chat with another mummy, without having you stuck to me.

But as more kids arrived, you got nervous and started to cling on to me. I had to carry you to your classroom and then to the chapel for assembly (every Monday, there will be assembly in the chapel). Throughout the assembly, I was by your side, I wasn’t allowed to step away from you. Even while I was seated on the floor, you insisted to sit on my lap. You just need to be in contact with me.

After assembly, we went back to the classroom and Mrs Tan (the vice principal) approached me to check if I was ready to let go. It was hard to let go but I had to! I said goodbye and walked out of the classroom without looking back. You cried, threw yourself on the floor and my heart broke into a million pieces.

So, this was what happened after I left…

you threw a huge tantrum,
you were screaming,
you refused to clean your snot, 
you managed to calm down, told Pastor Julia that you want to look for me, 
you fell asleep in class.

Yup, you were already sleeping in class on your first day of school! 🙂 When I saw you sleeping, I had the urge to run in and give you a hug. But I can’t.

Soon, it was your break time. You had already stopped crying by then. Pastor Julia updated me about your progress –

you were in a better mood after your nap,
finished your bowl of macaroni, 
finished your biscuit,
offered Pastor Julia a piece of biscuit,
kept one piece for mummy which you eventually ate it!

All these while, I was hiding behind a pillar watching you :). I felt so much better when I know you weren’t crying any more.

At 2.30 pm, you were released from class. You were thrilled when you saw me! Likewise, I was so happy to see a happy and smiling you running towards me! I will never forget the smile on your face.

We took the school bus home together. This time, you didn’t demand to be seated next to me. You were okay sitting next to a boy, a stark difference as compared to the morning. You were talking to the boy next to you, showing him where Dr Tan’s clinic is when we passed by Loyang Point and you even asked the two older boys to “stop talking!”. Ahh..my bossy little girl!

And this sums up your first proper day in school. Although you had a bumpy start, I know you will settle in eventually. As with everything, all you need is just a little bit of time.

Darling, do know that we are so very proud of you!!

love,
mummy

 

letter to elisa: your first day of school

Dear Elisa,

This year will be a year of learning for you. You are going to school!!

Yesterday was your first day of school. I was so excited in sending you to school that I might have neglected your needs. Hence, it did not go as well as I hoped.

As we just got back from Melbourne the day before, you were tired from the flight, jet-lagged and a bit under the weather. And yet, I decided to send you to school which comes to think about it, I’m pushing you a bit too far. And mummy is so sorry.

So, let’s talk about school. When it was time to get ready for school, you put up a fuss, you didn’t want to change into your school uniform. You kept saying “I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay at home”. But after some persuasion, you gave in.

And here we are, ready to take on the first day of school.

As the school is a bit out of the way, we opted for a school bus. At 11.05am, the bus pulled up to the porch and we were on our way to school, fetching a few more kids along the way. Mummy tagged along to make sure you were okay in the bus. You were not. You didn’t want to sit next a boy and kept clinging unto me instead.

When we arrived at the school, I can sense your anxiety, after all this is your first time attending school. There were kids and parents everywhere, and we went to join the queue to have your temperature taken. Of course, you had to have me by your side. After your temperature was taken, we proceed to have your hands and mouth checked for ulcers to make sure you are free from HFMD (four letters that put a lot of parents in distress). You didn’t allow the teacher to check, so mummy had to take over from the teacher.

After all the checks were being carried out, you were led to a holding area before proceeding to your class. Again, you just want to cling on to mummy. You wanted to be carried as we walked towards your class.

The first activity of the day was singing and followed by storytelling, which was conducted in Mandarin. You were apprehensive but you sat through both the singing and storytelling. Some of your classmates were walking around the classroom, totally ignoring what was happening.

After the mandarin session, Teacher Liz (which is your class teacher) took over and the subject of the day was “Happy”. There was a bit of singing and clapping of hands. And your uneasiness faded (a bit) when she gave out stickers to all the students.

Besides singing, you did your first craft yesterday. Teacher Liz helped you to make a happy face hand puppet which you proudly showed it to me, papa and kakak. And you insisted on holding on to it.

The last few minutes of class was playtime. This is where things got a bit more interesting for you. NOT! Mummy tried to leave you alone in the class, I told you I needed to go to the toilet and you were okay with it. When you realised I wasn’t there, you started to cry for me. And papa went to your “rescue”.

When school ended, you didn’t want to leave…”I don’t want to go home. I want to stay in school”. I asked if you want to go to school tomorrow and you answered me “YES!”.

For the return journey home, papa suggested you take the bus alone. I am concerned but I knew I had to let go and you have to start taking the bus alone…sooner or later. And so, I left the bus and you started crying…until you reached home.

When we reached home, I had a conversation with you. We talked about going to school, the bus ride and what you did in school. You told me every single thing and you were excited about it. So, I’m going to take it as you enjoyed school.

Here you have it, your first day of school. It wasn’t a smooth first day but nevertheless, we are proud of you. Let’s hope it will be smooth sailing from now onwards.

We believe you will love school, it’s just a matter of time. So, go on and pain the town red or in this context, paint the school red 🙂

 

Love,
mummy.

 

 

 

a love letter to elisa: you’re twenty seven months old

Dear Elisa,

So you turned TWO a few months back (yes, mummy is terribly late in writing to you!). You are nothing but a joy at this age and sometimes a bit of pain in the back but there’s nothing we can’t handle 😉

Many many moons ago, you were probably around 18 months old(?), mummy had a conversation with a father at a restaurant and he told me 2 years old is a fun age. I remembered telling him “I am having fun as it is right now”. He said “wait till she turns two when you can have proper conversation with her. It will be even better!”. Boy was the father right!

At age two, your vocabulary is larger than we can keep track of and it keeps expanding everyday. We can have proper conversations these days. And girl, you are like a non stop talking machine! You never cease to amaze us with your vocabulary and there is not a day that goes by without me and papa don’t look at each other and smile over something we hear you say. My favourite time of the day has got to be before bedtime where we would talk and talk and talk until it’s time to sleep. Right now, you are in the “where is” and “what’s that” stage, I guess this is the prelude before you bombard us with all the whys 😀

mummy, what’s that?
where is uncle sim?
where is aunty mi?
where is sim enru?
where is ti kakak?

You have opinions. And girl, you do have opinions! You have no qualms about letting your desires be known. You will tell us when you like something and likewise, if you dislike something, you will tell us NO flat out. At times, you can be very stubborn, like how you refused to keep your toys or not apologising when you are in the wrong. You know you have to keep your toys, you know you are in the wrong but you just won’t do it. You are stubborn like that.

When you were younger, you were super friendly with strangers, often flashing your gummy smile at them. But as you grew older, you are the total opposite, you became very shy. The last trip when we were back in Penang, you were so shy, you refused to talk or look at anyone. I hope that this is just a phase or else, it will be tough when you go to school next year.

Mummy has started working now. I do miss the days when mummy wasn’t working and we will go out for coffee and cakes in the afternoon, or go to the park in the evening. Leaving for work every morning is the toughest part. And the best part is coming home to you every evening. You will run towards the door when you hear the doorbell. I love hearing the pitter-patter of your footsteps. You will never fail to give me a hug when I come home from work 🙂

You are still as loving and affectionate as when you were younger. As much as you love giving us kisses, you absolutely adore it when mummy and papa kiss you on the cheek. You will pull us towards you and make sure we give you a big fat smooch on the cheek and you are not shy to ask for more. Darling, I hope you will still ask for it when you turn 21! 😉

Every time when I look at you, I count my blessings. I seriously believe that mummy and papa must have done something right in the past to deserve you as our daughter. 

You are perfect. We couldn’t ask for a better daughter.

Love you endlessly,
mummy

a love letter to elisa: you’re twenty three months old

Dear Elisa,

It has been a while since mummy last wrote you a letter. You are 23 months old now and in a matter of weeks, 3 weeks to be exact, you’ll be turning TWO!! To be honest, I’m not looking forward to it at all!! If possible, I want to bottle you up as you are right now. Or can someone show me where is the pause button?

I didn’t expect this day to come so fast but we can have conversations with you now. You are trying to speak in full sentences and you’re quite good at that. You are always listening when we speak and you will pick up words from there. This set as a reminder to us to mind our language :). Just the other day while having dinner, a lady next to us asked how old are you. To which I replied, one month to two years old. The next day, you went to papa and told him “two months old”. It’s two YEARS old, by the way! We had a good laugh but we were amazed by how quickly you pick things up.

You make us very proud with your manners. We are big on please and thank you at home. After constantly reminding you to mind your p’s and q’s, you have it down pretty well now. Keep it this way, baby!

You have an awesome sense of humour. You are funny. I would like to think that you get it from me but I’ll be lying through my teeth. You are definitely papa’s daughter. You aced it when it comes to making us laugh. The things you say, the things you do and your silly actions crack us up big time.

You are really easy to love. You are always happy and smiling. Like I said, you are 95% pure joy and 5% tantrum. We are so in love with you and I believe you love us as much as we do. You openly show your affection towards us like how you creep up to us, give us a hug or a kiss when we are not expecting it. You turn us into a puddle of goo!

So, a couple of weeks till you turn two. We will kick off your birthday celebrations with a trip to Hong Kong Disneyland. I bet you will be thrilled when you get to meet Mouse (Mickey and Minnie). Can’t wait!

love,
mummy xx

my 15 month old

This week, her sunny side are shining through as opposed to the whiny bum she was for the past few weeks. She was oh-so-clingy and oh-so-fussy. But now, she’s as delightful as a popsicle!

She’s slowly picking up word by word. Just this week, she picked up the word “work”. When asked “where did papa go?”, she will say “uuk (=work)” 🙂 

Oh, and she says “mile (=smile)” when she knows I’m taking photo of her!

“mile”

Her favourite word has got to be “buh bye” and she loves giving out flying kisses. There are a few people she will happily wave to if she sees them; the two aunties staying on the ground floor of our block, the uncle who mops the floor and also Lucky, the dog.

Remember I was saying she went through a mother of all teething? Well, it seems that we are DONE for now. It will be a few more months before her second molars cut through. We can finally take a breather. For now, at least.

Every morning she will wake up at the slightest sound that C makes. The very first word she calls out when she wakes up is PAPA and continue to greet him with a smile. Well, I don’t get this kind of treatment. The most I’ll get is “nen nen, pek (=please)”. Talk about being biased!

She loves it when we kiss or bite her stumpy feet, she will break out into little giggles. She will keep giving us her feet and we have to keep kissing her until she is satisfied, 5 times at least! I do not know where she got this crazy idea from but she amazes us with her humour everyday!!

She is everything we dreamed for and more. Love this girl to bit!

xoxo

my 14th month old

At 14th month, she understands so much of what we say to her. I think she understands more than what we think she can apprehend. For example, going to the room and grab her towel when it’s bathing time or ask us to put her shoes on when she knows we are going out or ask me to switch off the light (by pointing) when it’s bedtime – that’s my favourite part of the day.

But it is not always the case, sometimes she also pretends not to understand us! Like when we asked her to pick something up or when we stop her from doing something – the more you stop her from doing it, the more she wants to do it. We have a little monster here!!

She has already started to sleep through the night (like finally!!) *throw confetti*. She will wake up at 5 or sometimes 6. I’ll nurse her and she will drift back off to sleep. But the minute she hears C’s voice, she wakes up. Unlike us adults, she has NO problem getting out of bed! 

And she’s back sleeping in her own cot. For a while, I thought it would become a white elephant! Every night after I nurse her, she will point towards her cot telling to put her in the cot. I would kiss her goodnight and that’s it! She will fall asleep on her own. I wish I could say this for afternoon naps though. Morning naps are a breeze but afternoon naps? Ugh! It’s like a battle.

She is going through the mother of all teething now!! Her canines AND molars are sprouting at.the.same.time. This is seriously no joke!! One of her canines has finally erupted. Just one! It will be a long while more before we can take a breather.

On her eating front, she is still a champ especially when it comes to snacking. I’m slowly introducing adult’s food to her. I still control what goes into her mouth but I am easing up a little. As long as, it is not too sweet or salty, by all means. 

Right now, she is the funniest. She loves to make us laugh with her silly antics. When she knows you are angry, she will make funny faces or pretend to laugh out loud. You know, it’s very hard to be angry at her! I wish I could freeze this moment right now, minus the whining and crying!

At the same time, she has been acting out a lot. There were lots of crying, whining and tantrums. Oh, and big fat tears too! It’s rather challenging and difficult. And it takes a whole lot of patience to deal with her. I’m not sure if it’s due to teething or she is approaching the stage of disequilibrium. But like what everybody says, this is just a phase and it will pass.

A person’s a person, no matter how small.

We love you very very muchie, my baby boo!

You Are My Funny Girl

Dear Elisa,

How fun you are right now? Never mind that sometimes I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me. Never mind that sometimes you drive me nuts with your persistent whining. Nowadays, you are always up to something funny. You seem to get cheekier by the day!!

The other day during dinner, you asked for your bottle of water. After taking a few sips, you bit on the straw and with the bottle dangling, you started bobbing your head. I can’t help but to laugh out loud! You and your silly antics!

Also, the other day while we were talking to Gong Gong on FaceTime, you suddenly took a few steps backwards, bit onto your bolster case and walked forward like a zombie. It was so funny!

And yesterday was the funniest. You walked towards me in the kitchen and you laughed out loud for no apparent reason. HA HA! HA HA! HA HA! I couldn’t contained my laughter and I thought to myself, since when you became so funny??

Ahh, I want to freeze all these moments! But I know there will be a whole lot of fun waiting for us ahead. Don’t stop being funny, my silly boo boo!

♥
Mummy