letter to our firstborn

Dear Elisa,

Our first born. You taught us how to be parents. In a short time, it could be tomorrow or next week, you will no longer be our only child. You have been our center of attention for almost four years and soon you will have to share the limelight with another human being.

I know. It sucks, right? 

I know you felt insecure you will no longer be our only child. Although you did not express it verbally, you showed it through your emotions. You became very sticky to me and according to Teacher Liz, you will cry for me out of a sudden for no apparent reason. According to her, this is a sign of insecurity!

I totally understand how you feel. But mummy wants you to know that no matter what happened, no matter who comes along, you will always be mummy’s no 1, my love for you will never change. We have a special bond, it was you who taught me to be a mother, it was you who taught me about selflessness and no one can replace the bond.

Elisa, when the baby arrives, you might feel that your needs have been neglected. You might feel that mummy spend more time with baby than you. But this does not mean that your needs are any less important or i love you any lesser. This is because mummy knows that you are an independent girl who is capable of taking care of yourself and I won’t be surprise if you start taking care of mummy and baby!

What lies ahead is scary and unknown to us. But we truly believe that a sibling is the best gift we could ever give you. A life buddy. Someone to lean on, someone to laugh with and someone to share the punishments with. He will be your partner in crime to make your parents’ life batshit crazy!

You have been a sweetheart towards mummy and baby for the past 9 months. You will talk to the baby (via my belly button :D) and constantly check of my well-being. One night, I was trying to bend over to pick up your pyjamas and you stopped me from doing so. “Mummy, I’ll do it. You have a big tummy, you can’t bend over right?”. This is one of the many occasions that makes me question myself what have I done to deserve you?

I am very certain you have what it takes to be an incredible big sister as evident from the way you take care of Bradley in school. I know you will take on this big sister role like a champ and you will dote on your baby brother and make us all proud like how you always do!

Elisa, you might accept baby in an instance or you might take a while. I wont rush you into it, I’ll give you space and time to slowly adapt to the change in environment.

 As I’m writing this I’m already in week 38, meaning that baby will be here anytime. I apologise beforehand if my actions or words will make you feel neglected or if I spend too much time on baby. But bear in mind that is never my intentions. Sometimes when you are too engrossed in a task i.e. keeping your sibling alive, you tend to forget about the people around you.

We don’t have much time together before we welcome a new human being into our lives. In the meantime, I’m going to soak in every bit of you and ask for as many cuddles and kisses as possible.


love you always,
mummy

 

 

 

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