Mama’s Milk

Before I started breastfeeding, I had absolutely no idea what I am getting myself into. I did not give much thoughts about it, I thought I’ll just go with the flow (pun intended). I mean how hard can it be right? Just give baby the boobs and ta-dah, a well fed baby! How wrong was I?

For the first two weeks, Elisa did not managed to latch on. I still remember our first night in the hospital, the nurse would bring Elisa over when it’s time to feed her. She would wail and cry murder every.single.time coz she can’t latch on properly. It’s very heartbreaking to hear her wails. After a few failed attempts, we opted for the nurse to feed her formula. I know some breastfeeding advocates might raise an eyebrow, but I don’t care.

It took Elisa two weeks to finally get it right. In the beginning, I struggled. It was PAINFUL. The nipples became very sensitive, even a slight brush is enough to make me curl. I had to deal with engorgement and leaking breasts. I smelled like sour milk all the time. It was miserable! But I hung on. I really have to thank my friend, L, whom I called her my personal lactation consultant. She guided me through this whole breastfeeding saga. She is my go to person for anything related to breastfeeding. I think I would have given up long time ago if it’s not because of her continuous support and reassurance. In her words “it will get better”. After a while, we got the hang of it and we were nursing like pros.

Finally, I felt confident about breastfeeding. Besides the many health benefits, it is convenient and we can save our monies on buying formula. No need to wash and sterilise bottles. No need to pack bottles, formula and what not before going out. When it’s time to nurse, look for a nursing room, give her the boobs and all’s done.

When everything was going on smoothly, a curveball was thrown at me (this is life!). She used to latch on for a good 20-30 mins and all of a sudden, it became 5 mins. And I became worried. I was worried that she is not getting enough. I was worried that she is not putting on weight (I weighed her every week just to make sure she is not dropping any weight!). I was worried that she is not getting the right milk i.e fore milk versus hind milk (you mean there’s a difference? I don’t even know!). I was worried that she is not wetting enough diapers. I had to deal with these mental anguish everyday. Only when she put on weight weeks after weeks, that I finally ease up a little.

It has been a year of breastfeeding the little one, I really did not expect we will come this far. It is sheer determination that got me here. I do not know when I’ll wean her off yet, maybe in a few months time. We’ll see. But in the meantime, I’ll just enjoy the moment.

To all future mummies who are intending to breastfeed, I have a few tips for you:-
1. Don’t give up
2. Relax.
3. IT WILL GET BETTER with time.

xoxo

Gardens By The Bay

The first time I went to the Children’s Garden at Gardens By The Bay, I knew I’ll be back for more. It is a haven for kids! On Elisa’s birthday week, we brought her there for a little fun under the sun. Also, my mum who was in town, has never been to the gardens before, so it was a good reason to go.

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We reached the Children’s Garden slightly past 9 and it was closed. My first thought was “Oh man, don’t tell me it is closed for maintenance!” Then I remembered S told me before that they are going to adjust the opening hours. Did a check with the staff and we were told that it will open at 10 am. Phew!

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At 10 sharp, we headed back to the Children’s Garden. To my disappointment, the toddler water play area aka The Fish Fountain was closed for maintenance. What a bummer!

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After almost one hour of fun, mister sun was out in full force and we decided it was time to leave. We packed up and leave for home. As we were leaving, I was thinking to myself, wouldn’t it be nice if we stay nearby? Then we can make a daily visit to the gardens. Ahhh, wishful thinking!

You Are My Funny Girl

Dear Elisa,

How fun you are right now? Never mind that sometimes I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me. Never mind that sometimes you drive me nuts with your persistent whining. Nowadays, you are always up to something funny. You seem to get cheekier by the day!!

The other day during dinner, you asked for your bottle of water. After taking a few sips, you bit on the straw and with the bottle dangling, you started bobbing your head. I can’t help but to laugh out loud! You and your silly antics!

Also, the other day while we were talking to Gong Gong on FaceTime, you suddenly took a few steps backwards, bit onto your bolster case and walked forward like a zombie. It was so funny!

And yesterday was the funniest. You walked towards me in the kitchen and you laughed out loud for no apparent reason. HA HA! HA HA! HA HA! I couldn’t contained my laughter and I thought to myself, since when you became so funny??

Ahh, I want to freeze all these moments! But I know there will be a whole lot of fun waiting for us ahead. Don’t stop being funny, my silly boo boo!


Mummy

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Something to remember

Last night was one of the most beautiful night we had in a long while. It was nothing fancy nor big, it was just a normal Friday night but in my books, it’s worth remembering.

Three of us were lying in bed with Elisa comfortably tucked in between us. The lights were off and instead of me humming a lullaby, C serenaded us with a few songs. As I turned over, I saw him looking at Elisa intently and stroking her hands. It was a beautiful, beautiful sight to behold. And without me realizing it, tears streamed down my face.

Lying in bed with both of them, I felt a sense on contentment, something which I’ve never felt for a long long time!! I am glad I chose this path!

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* While trying to find a photo for this post, I realized that we hardly take any family photos!!!

{Bali} Potato Head

It seems like Potato Head is must visit when you are in Bali. One of the days, we rocked up bright and early and got ourselves a poolside lounge area. If it was just the two of us, we would definitely be sipping cocktails or drinking Bintang at one of those trendy cabanas. But these are all in the past, with a kiddo we opted for an indoor seating as the little one can only take this much of sun.

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We wasted no time and hit the pool. There is a shallow end meant for the kids. But as usual, the little one ended up in the deep end.

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After a few swims, this is what happened! Gotta love it when this happens! :)

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We had a long and quite lunch! The food were good but it’s not cheap for Bali’s standard. However, the view and service did make up for it.

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When it started to rain (we had some crappy weather during on stay), we decided that it’s time to leave as well. We packed our bags and said goodbye to this gorgeous place.

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Thank You

Not many people are aware of this but I have been supplying cakes to a cafe for a few months. But that collaboration has come to an end. They have since found a professional baker who can supply to them consistently.

When it first started, I was really excited. I mean “hey, I’m doing business!”. But this excitement soon turned into a commitment. I had to churn out cakes every alternate days, sometimes everyday. The record was 8 cakes in one day, if I remember correctly. Having to look after a baby on my own, I try to bake when she naps but sometimes as luck have it, she just refuses to nap. And soon I realised that I am actually biting more than I can chew. But somehow I still pressed on coz baking in my passion and for once in months, I feel good. And also the positive feedbacks from the cafe is what kept me going. They even have customers coming back for more, which is a mark of recognition for me (although no one knows about me! haha).

Now that it has come to an end, I do feel a tinge of sadness but on the other hand, I feel liberated. I don’t have to worry about stocking up on ingredients, getting the cakes out on time, having to stick to a schedule (I get my Saturdays back!) and most importantly I don’t have to worry about neglecting the little one.

I’ve always doubted myself when it comes to my cooking and baking. I always have the thought that it is not good enough despite positive feedbacks from friends. I’ll be like “oh, maybe they are just being nice” or “oh, maybe they just want to please me”. I have friends who tell me that I should start a cake business and I’ll just brush their suggestions aside citing that I am not good enough. But this experience proved otherwise. The one thing that I had gained from this little business of mine is to believe in myself a little bit more!

Thank you for believing in me and giving me the opportunity to believe in myself. You know who you are! xoxo


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Last Saturday…

Before the kids came along, we would always hang out together; picnic, dinner, potluck or whatever. Just because.

Now everyone is busy with their own lives. And especially with kids now in the picture, we hardly meet up which I think it’s rather sad. The last time we met up as a group was half a year ago! That’s like eons ago!!

Anyhow, last Saturday, we gathered everyone at the park for a picnic. It’s about time we catch up on each other lives and for the kiddos to mingle and run free.

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We brought food, drinks (toxic and non-toxic :P), ball, frisbee and a whole lot of humour and conversations. While the adults ate and drank, the young ones roam about.

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It was a hot Saturday and balmy evening but we (always) had fun in each other’s company. If you know me well, I love and appreciate hanging out with friends :)

When it started to get dark,  just before the crawlies come out to play, we packed up and left for home. We were all sweaty and sticky but oh, so worth it.

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Now, can we do this more often? Please don’t let it be another half a year before we gather again.